Odyssey4

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But the story didn’t turn out the way I thought it would—at least when evaluated by the standard measures of success. I was totally unprepared for the brutality of corporate life. As an organizational consultant and management training professional, I believed what I knew about organizations and life itself gave me the power to change things for the better. Yet, in spite of my best efforts, things didn’t improve very much, or for those that did, the change was short lived. In fact, sometimes situations actually worsened—even with the help of a team of three Master’s level internal organizational consultants and one Ph.D. external consultant!

Watching people get chewed up like ground beef, and my inability to do anything about it, confirmed my life script I had fought so hard to change. I thought, “There really is something wrong with me.” For years, I struggled to reconcile the lack of harmony between what I thought I knew and my own personal experience. Notwithstanding a good education and a fertile field of life experiences to draw upon for wisdom and strength, I felt profoundly powerless to understand why this was so or to do anything about it.

Burned out and bewildered from the adversity and organizational pain that I experienced personally and saw others suffer, I retreated to my garden to allow my wounds to heal, to reflect upon what went wrong, and to integrate important lessons learned.

At first, I did not choose to opt out of my career; I just could not go back. Though every rational thought pulled me to accept one of several opportunities to make more money than I ever dreamed possible, the more tender, creative, natural part of me said, “You have more important work to do.” In 1986, a comment made by a colleague lodged in my heart and wouldn’t let go. He said, “What we ought to do is teach people how to become their own heroes.” I felt it was an issue for which I was uniquely qualified and spiritually called to address. Though I surely did not know how to become a hero at work, I believed I had the life experiences, grit, and spiritual guidance to shed some light on the topic for myself and others. I sat in front of the blank screen of my computer and pondered deeply.

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