Continuum of Responses to the Challenge to Love Others

Flight Reactions

Hero Actions

Fight Reactions

Unbelief in positive change
Belief in inertia / status quo.
Patience in pursuing change
Long-term effectiveness focus.
Impatience in pursuing change
Short-term efficiency focus.
Indifference: I don’t care —
you do not matter to me.
Kindness: I am your friend and
will not hurt you.
Paternalism: I know what’s
best for you, like it or not.
Resentment/envy: I want
what you have.
Generosity: I will celebrate
your achievements with you.
Power plays: I will take credit
for your achievements.
Self-denegration/pity: I am
unworthy and pathetic, and so
are you.
Humility: I am more interested
in the truth than in myself.
Slow to judge others.
Self-delusion: I am a legend in
my own mind. Only stupid people
disagree with me.
Coldness: I don’t have time or
energy for your needs.
Courtesy: I care about your
feelings and comfort.
Rudeness: You will interact
on my terms, or not at all.
Defensiveness: I protect what
I have; sacrifice is loss.
Unselfishness: I will sacrifice
for the greater good.
Opportunism: I will sacrifice
when it serves my interests.
Silence: Sharing is risky, I
prefer cynicism and safety.
Good Temper: I choose to be
cheerful and positive.
Violence: I am explosive,
unpredictable and inconsistent.
Paranoid: Assumes the worst,
projects own fears.
Guileless: Assumes the best,
gives benefit of a doubt.
Mistrusting: Projects own
dishonesty onto others.
Insincerity: Situational ethics:
accepts whatever truths are
comfortable and convenient.
Sincerity: Loves the truth, and
will defend it from lies.
Accepts responsibility to live
and model personal values.
Insincerity: Opportunistic ethics:
truth is what you shape it to be; it
is merely functional and can be
discarded at will.

Copyright © 2002 Vivian Ellis Zabriskie

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